What payment methods do you accept?

We accept all major cards (Visa, Mastercard, AmEx, Discover), PayPal, and Shop Pay. Zero shady business — just fast checkout.

How long will it take to receive my order?

Orders are typically processed in 2–3 business days. Shipping starts after processing and takes 4–6 business days for U.S. orders.

Do you ship internationally?

Not at this time — we currently only ship within the United States.

What are your t-shirts made of?

Soft, durable 100% cotton (Gildan 5000 or Gildan 64000). No sandpaper-feeling tees here.

What is your return policy?

30-day returns for unworn, unwashed items with tags. Custom/personalized shirts can only be returned if defective.

1 6

T-Shirt

Existential Burrito T-Shirt

Because carbs are coping.

$29.99 USD

~~$0.00 USD~~ $29.99 USD

Sale Sold out

Shipping calculated at checkout.

Size S M L XL 2XL 3XL

Color Black Navy

Size Chart

A cozy chaos tee for anyone who feels wrapped up in their own thoughts like a warm tortilla of anxiety and humor. Perfect for deep thinkers, late-night overanalyzers, food lovers, and anyone who copes with life by turning themselves into a metaphor.

Makes a hilarious, comforting gift for friends, coworkers, or siblings who are always one spiral away from enlightenment. Ideal for chill weekends, study nights, taco runs, or any moment when you need your shirt to say you’re processing life slowly and warmly.