What payment methods do you accept?

We accept all major cards (Visa, Mastercard, AmEx, Discover), PayPal, and Shop Pay. Zero shady business — just fast checkout.

How long will it take to receive my order?

Orders are typically processed in 2–3 business days. Shipping starts after processing and takes 4–6 business days for U.S. orders.

Do you ship internationally?

Not at this time — we currently only ship within the United States.

What are your t-shirts made of?

Soft, durable 100% cotton (Gildan 5000 or Gildan 64000). No sandpaper-feeling tees here.

What is your return policy?

30-day returns for unworn, unwashed items with tags. Custom/personalized shirts can only be returned if defective.

1 5

T-Shirt

Sunshine and existential dread

A Balanced Diet

$29.99 USD

~~$0.00 USD~~ $29.99 USD

Sale Sold out

Shipping calculated at checkout.

Size S M L XL 2XL 3XL

Color Black Navy Dark Heather

Size Chart

A perfectly balanced tee for anyone who feels cheerful on the outside while quietly questioning the entire meaning of life. Ideal for anxious optimists, recovering perfectionists, therapy regulars, and anyone who masks stress with jokes.

Makes a thoughtful yet hilarious gift for friends, coworkers, or siblings who embrace both light and darkness with style. Great for weekend hangs, coffee runs, or any moment when you want your shirt to say you are okay… and also spiraling a little.